Bringing Home The Twins

After 4 days in the hospital, it was time to finally go home. Although I was so happy to finally be going back home, I was scared out of my mind and didn't want to leave the care of all of my nurses. When we got in the car to leave, I just cried silently to myself because I didn't know what to do with twins! There they were in the back seat just sleeping away. They were so small that they did not fit properly in the car seats so we had to add towels around them and under them to help them fit better. The car seat swallowed them whole! We were taking home babies that weighed less than 5 pounds!

                              
                                                                       Jacob

Josiah

 

 

 

When we got home, my mama had decorated our house for us

 

 

Ok, here is where the fun begins....

 

When we got home I was already exhausted. From my pain meds, no sleep at the hospital, and just having surgery. I was ready to be in my own bed. The boys had to be syringe fed the first 2 days of being home. It was the only way that we could get them to eat. It took a LONG time to get them to take a bottle, especially Josiah.

 

 



Here is me feeding Josiah and Jonathan feeding Jacob. Lots of practice!

 

 

They were so small I was afraid to pick them up because they were fragile. They loved being swaddled and cuddled. They loved nothing more than to sleep with me cuddled on a pillow. It's how we did it at the hospital and it continued when we got home. This was a problem because they would not sleep anywhere else but with me. We tried the Pack and Play but it didn't work.

 

 

 

 

The first week was a big blur. It went by fast but I do remember how hard it was. I remember trying to learn just how to take care of them. They ate every 2 hours and sometimes we couldn't get Josiah to eat. I cried all the time from being so tired. I didn't know how to function. Here is the thing about twins that NO ONE will understand unless you have twins yourself. When one cries in the middle of the night, you go take care of that baby and feed it. But then your husband is going to be up right after you to feed the next one. By the time you get done feeding, changing, burping and getting your baby back to sleep, its time to get up again to feed 2 hours later. But don't  forget how long it sometimes takes you to go back to sleep after being awake. You keep hearing noises and wonder if they are waking up again. The reason why I have said that people don't need to complain about one baby is because with one, you and your husband can take turns with night feedings. With twins, you BOTH have go get up and you BOTH lose more sleep than anyone can imagine. There was no break. A constant battle of trying to get sleep. My family would come during the day to try and give me a break and let me sleep, but I self consciously couldn't because the moment I heard one cry, it would freak me out and make me nervous. Family would come over to purposely let me take naps and try and sleep, but it was too hard. I would even turn my fan up as loud as it would go so that I could not hear their cries, but when I did I immediately woke up and needed to go check on them. I was a nervous wreck. I felt that no one could take good care of them but me and my husband.  I know that they could, but it was my way of thinking. My sweet mama and aunt took a few night shifts for us so that we could get some sleep. I think that was the best part!

 

 

 

 

Such small little boys

 

 

I went through a huge amount of post pardon depression the first 6 weeks. I cried every single day. Hysterically. I could cry if I spilt my glass of water or if something stupid happened that didn't even matter. I tried my best to calm down and relax but it never worked. The first week home I even got a major rash on my body. It was terrible. It started out small and then spread all over my body like hives. Turns out that I was allergic to my pain killer. It got so bad that I was 10x more miserable. Yet another reason I could not sleep at night.

 

Mother's Day was the worst. The night before, Jacob was up ALL night and refused to sleep. We got 3 hours of sleep that night. The bad part was that we had to take them to the baby dedication at church that morning. It went great, but by the time the afternoon came, I was so miserable I just wanted to crash. We got home that day and one of the babies would not stop crying. I didn't have the energy to deal with it so I went into my bathroom and cried for 1 hour. Not cried, sobbed. I'm sure my neighbors could hear me. I was exhausted. I cried forever and didn't stop for a very long time. I was so sleep deprived. Like I said, there is no trading off with the night shift. Both parents have to get up to help. Twins are more work than I can explain. The crying continued everyday. I didn't even know how to smile anymore. I loved those babies more than anything, but I was begging God to please grant us some sleep so that I could handle the twins. If I could just get some sleep, I could make this work.

 

 

 

Finally to try and save my sanity, I tried to rotate their feedings. It is really hard to bottle feed twins when you are ALONE. I had family but if you know me personally, I am one of those people who loves company, but I also really like to be alone. I didn't want to ask for help and I wanted to learn how to care for them on my own while Jonathan was at work. I had no choice but to learn. I tried feeding them in many different positions, and I finally found that propped up pillows were the only way to go. Its how I had to feed them. It is HARD. It's hard because one baby needs to burp so you have to stop feeding both of them and then the other begins to scream. Then one has milk dripping from them so you have to stop feeding both of them and take care of that baby. Then you have to get them to latch back onto the bottle and with preemies, it was hard. I was so frustrated at doing this, I decided to just feed them at separate times. BIG MISTAKE. I tried this for 2 weeks and I almost went 2x more insane by getting them off a schedule. The reason was by the time one got done feeding and you got that baby to sleep, the other baby was up wanting to feed and then you had to get that baby to sleep. By the time you did, the other baby was awake and hungry again. A never ending story which meant NO sleep and NO time to do anything. I was going insane. That's when I decided to listen to everyone who had twins and stick with the scheduling. Its the only way to survive with twins. Feed them at the same time and do everything at the same time, or else go completely insane.

 

 

 

This is how I feed them even to this day when I am alone

 

 

 

So, we stuck with the scheduling and I learned to cope with feeding them on pillows during every feeding while I was alone. I prayed A LOT during this time. I mainly prayed for sleep and for the Lord to grant me the energy and the peace to raise these twins. I told God I didn't know how I could do it without his strength. Philippians 4:13 ran through my mind all day everyday. "I can do all things through God who gives me strength." I asked God to please give me the strength to survive because I didn't know how I was going to make it anymore.  

 

Ok, now that you have heard all the negative, let me get to the good stuff. :)

 

I LOVE those boys and though they were hard to take care of, I loved to be with them. They were my gift from the Lord.

 

 

 

6 1/2 weeks after the boys were born, God decided it was time to answer my prayer. We put the boys to sleep one night in their crib like we always did, and they didn't wake up for 7 hours. I woke up in a frantic because they had not cried to eat and I ran to their room to make sure they were o.k. There they were, sound asleep. I was in shock. 7 hours????!!!! I just had 7 hours of sleep! I was getting 3-4 a night and I just got 7???? PRAISE JESUS!!

 

Then, magically, it happened every night after that. In the beginning it was 5-7...then it was 7-8 hours. Here we are, 3 months in, and my boys sleep 7-8 hours every night. We have had maybe 5 nights where they have woken up due to growth sprits or not feeling well, but we are getting sleep!

We decided to take the Baby Wise advice and do a strict routine with the boys, and we honestly believe this is why it helped. Every night around 9:15 we bathe our babies, lotion them up with lavender night time lotion, put their pajamas on, give them their bottle, burp them, swaddle them, and then put them to bed with their night light and song. They usually sleep every night until 6:15 am. This has been the biggest blessing we could have asked for!!! Since then, the crying has stopped and I feel like a human again. I have been able to enjoy being with them and learning how to be a mom.

 

Twins are so much work but yet so cool because who all gets to say they grew 2 babies at once?! This post is just about the beginning of life with the twins. My next will be all about them growing the past few months. :) 

 

 

More posts to come soon on life with the twins. :)



My Twin Birth Story: Part 2-Here They Come!

For the first 4 months, I could definitely see how women do not know that they are pregnant. I had no sickness, no nausea, nothing. I never once felt the need to throw up. But, I was STARVING. I could eat at any time. I would find myself eating big meals and being so hungry 30 minutes after having just eaten a cheeseburger and fries. I could not get enough food. Thankfully, this was my only symptom that I ever had. I had to eat!!

I finally after 2 weeks got over the shock and immediately started Pinteresting like a mad women. I had to plan for 2! Could it be boys, girls, or a boy and a girl? What would their bedroom be like if it was a boy and a girl? How could we make that work since they would share a room? 1,000 questions going through my mind. All I knew was that I was excited that my babies would be here just in time for summer. Yay!!

I tried my best to take photos of my growing belly. I was so excited to have a baby bump and just to have little people inside of me. I found myself being really exhausted around 4 months to where I came home and had to crash on the sofa everyday after work. I didn't even want to move once I got home from work. I was used to going to the gym everyday. Not anymore!! I needed rest and food.

Then at Thanksgiving came time to find out what we would be having. Boys? Girls? Both? We couldn't wait to find out. We planned it out to have a gender reveal party the day after Thanksgiving because all of my family would be in town. My aunt Janet worked her tail off to throw us the sweetest party. It was fabulous! We had our doctor look to see what they were and put Baby A and Baby B in separate envelopes for my aunt to do boxes of balloons. In my heart I felt that they were a  boy and a girl, but I WANTED 2 boys. It is definitely what my heart desired. I kept reading my pregnancy book on what to expect and I remember reading a little side note in the book about being pregnant with a boy and all the signs. It asked, "Do you find yourself eating like a teenage boy and constantly going to the refrigerator to eat?" I was saying, "Yes, yes! That's me!" So I knew there had to be at least one boy in there. :)

                                            Opening Baby A's box at the party. A boy!!!

 

Opening Baby B's box. Another boy!!!

It was true! Two little boys! No wonder I was starving all the time!

 

 

 

 

I love this one because it will always remind me of when I first felt them move

I only made it to 32 weeks belly shots because by the time I got to 34 weeks, I was so miserable from this horrible hand and foot itch that was terrible. I couldn't sleep or barely function. I cried all of the time and the only relief I got was from soaking my hands and feet in ice water. The doctors never could figure out what it was. Just hormones I guess but I have never been that miserable in my entire life.

At 36 weeks when I went in for my checkup, I had a huge feeling that I would not be returning to work. I had the horrible itching and Josiah has basically quit growing at a healthy rate. My doctor said it was time for a C-Section and I said, "THANK GOD!!!"

April 10th I called into work and told them that I wouldn't be back until next year. I called my parents and told them to head to Macon because their grandbabies were coming out. My entire family was so excited. That night we all went to Jonathan's softball game for one last sense of  freedom, then ate at my favorite restaurant, Taki, for dinner. That night I actually slept which was great, because it was the last time I would for weeks to come!

I went into the hospital at 12:30 on April 11th that day and was SOOOOOOOO nervous. I hate needles and anything to do with hospitals. I knew this was going to be hard. I cried before my C-section and just prayed for it to go well and for it to go fast. I was ready to meet my babies. I was scared out of my mind! I was also so swollen and looked like a balloon. My feet were terrible and I could not see my feet at all!

                                                   This is what I saw my last 2 months

                                       Here is my last belly shot. Swollen face and all!

So began the C-section and I was trying so hard not to freak out. But as soon as I heard that first cry come out of Jacob, I immediately felt peace and heard my husband crying tears of joy behind me. Then out came Josiah, my tiny baby. They were beautiful in the 1 second glance that I got of both of them.

                                            
                                                              One very proud daddy

All of my family got to look at them before I did. However, the names were still a secret at this point


When it was all over, they rolled me back into the recovery room while the boys went to the nursery. We were so blessed that they both were healthy enough to not have to go to the NICU. Praise the Lord! What an answer to prayer! Jonathan was very worried the entire surgery because I was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't stop but they said that was normal from the epidural. When I was back in recovery I still was not able to stop and they were not able to get a good blood pressure reading on me. Then they brought in the boys to me and laid them both on my chest and the shaking stopped immediately. The first thought that came to mind was, "Is this real? Are these really MY babies?" It didn't feel real at all. I just looked at them and was at peace. They were sound asleep on my chest and it was the best feeling in the entire world.

 

                                             
                                                              1st family photo

                                                                         Jacob

                                                                          
                                                                           Josiah

After I had settled down and felt better, they wheeled me back into my normal room and my family came in to meet the boys and officially learn their names. We kept it a secret the entire time because it was just more fun that way and we didn't want to hear anyone's opinions on our names. We came up with Jacob and Josiah because we both have J names and we wanted to stay the J Crew. So, it became Jonathan, Julia, Jacob, and Josiah. :) All names in the Bible.

My stay at the hospital was great and I had some awesome nurses taking care of me and my babies. Nurse Ellen was the one who played my mama while I was there and I loved having her there all 4 days I was there! I actually cried when I had to leave!


Stay tuned for my next story on brining home the twins! This is where it gets interesting! ;)

My Twin Birth Story: Part 1- We're Pregnant!

Well, I have finally found some time (rare bits of moments in my day) to finally write this blog. I have been contemplating it and finally broke down and decided to do it. Being a mom of twins has been quite a ride so far. Here is my twin birth story!!


Back in May 2013, Jonathan and I decided that it was time to finally begin a family. I had been back and forth on this all year trying to decide if this year was going to be right for us. We prayed a lot and asked God to show us the way. All summer long Jonathan and I prayed for a baby. We prayed that God would grant us the gift of a child and do it soon because I was ready and wanted a spring/summer baby so that it would not interfere with my kindergarten babies. I did not want to have to worry about them learning everything without me there. Yes, I love my job that much that it was my worry.

3 months passed and nothing happened. School began back and I was already discouraged that it was not going to happen. I remember the many mornings driving to work crying in my car just begging the Lord to grant us a child. I reminded God that I trusted him and that I believed that anything I asked for that he would give to me. I believed it with my whole heart. I took yet another pregnancy test and still a negative. I felt so discouraged. 4 months of negatives. Jonathan and I prayed together everyday. I told God again that I trusted him. I told him that I knew he would give me one. If it was not now then I would be o.k. with that, but now would be the best time because of my work situation. I prayed all day everyday. Even when just little moments alone, I prayed for a baby.

August 29th was the first night of college football for the 2013 football season. As you may know my husband and I love college football. South Carolina was playing the first SEC game of the season and my husband was glued to the t.v. It was time to take a test again. I was so nervous I didn't even want to look at it. So, I took a test and put it down and decided to pray over the stick. Yes, PRAY OVER THE STICK. (There is power in the name of Jesus so the bible says, and I wanted to put the fear of God in that pregnancy test.) Minutes passed and I finally looked at it. Is that a faint pink line that I see? Surely not!!! I kept looking at it just wondering if my eyes were playing tricks on me. I took it to Jonathan who was carefully watching the football game and asked him how many lines that he saw. "I see 2 lines!!!," I said. He didn't believe the test because the lines were too faint and told me to go to the store and buy another brand of pregnancy test because he did not believe it. He didn't even seem excited and I started to worry. So I hopped in my car and drove to Kroger and bought 2 other tests and brought them home. I used the other brand and placed it on the floor with my foot over it. I told Jonathan to come to the bathroom and read the test for me. "Julia, your not pregnant. Those other lines were too faint." I insisted he was wrong and that I was pregnant and he needed to read the results of this new test. He told me to give it one more minute and he would. It was seriously the longest minute of my life!!!! Finally, I picked it up and gave it to him and told him to tell me what it said. He just looked at it all confused. "Well, it has a plus sign." I didn't believe him and grabbed it from him. I screamed, "I'm pregnant!" I showed him both tests and he still did not believe me. He took the test and looked at the box and back at the test and then all of a sudden had the biggest smile I had ever seen on him in my life. Then, he began to cry and I started to cry. We hugged for a long time and cried together. We immediately prayed  and thanked God for his blessings and asked for protection over our baby during my pregnancy. I had never seen Jonathan so excited about something other than the Braves or UGA football. ;)

It was Labor Day weekend and we didn't want to tell anyone until I had my 8 week appointment. My family came into town for the weekend and we told both of our parents and my sister. They were thrilled!!

Then it came time to find the right doctor. I had no clue who I was going to use. I naturally wanted a woman for obvious reasons, but kept hearing mixed reviews about all the women in my town who were delivery doctors. I didn't just want any doctor, I wanted the best doctor. I kept hearing from some friends about a Dr. Carlton. I wasn't quit sure about that because I wanted a woman, not a male, so I prayed for God to quickly show me who my doctor needed to be for my baby. My best friend Kaylee was getting married at the time and we had just had a shower at this lovely home. I knew it was a doctors home, but didn't know who. When I went to talk to her about who my options were as doctors, I told her, "Yea, I keep hearing about this Dr. Carlton guy, but not sure about him." Kaylee got so excited and told me that was whose house we were just in 2 weeks before and that she knew his family and that they were strong Christians. God just so peacefully answered my prayer right then and there on who my doctor would be. So easy!

September 26th came and it was the big day!!! I could hardly wait to see a picture of our baby!!!! So my doctor goes on to do my ultrasound and I am not thinking about what was about to happen next. Can you guess???? I was a bit worried because my doctor was not saying a whole lot and I was kind of worried that something was wrong. Then he said, "There's one. And there's two." WHAT????? "Like, two hands, two feet?" I asked. "No, two heart beats. Your having twins." OH. MY.GOD. I immediately shot a look at Jonathan and began hysterical laughing. I kept telling my doctor that he needed to stop joking with me. Then he let us hear both heart beats and see both babies. I began to cry and could not stop. I would laugh, then cry, then laugh, then cry come more. I didn't know what to do!! I was so excited and so scared at the same time. There is nothing in the world like someone telling you that you are having twins. I was on cloud 9. Jonathan and I couldn't believe it and I literally shook for the next couple of hours because I was in such shock. I had ruled out twins because Jonathan is a twin and I had always been told that twins skipped a generation. That is a lie!
We called my parents and told them and they didn't believe me. My mother actually got mad that I was playing a trick on her. I think it took her a good 3 minutes for her to believe that I wasn't making it up. We told all of our friends and family that night and then announced it on facebook. A huge response!!! I didn't sleep at all that night and I don't think I could think straight for the next 2 weeks. I still could not believe it. TWINS!!!!

Here was our original announcement. We went out and bought a onesie just to take this picture. I had it all planned to put this one on facebook after my doctors appointment. Little did we know at the time we would need 2!!

My actual announcement. I didn't have time to come up with something cutter because I was about to explode from excitement!!!! I had to tell the world my good news!!

 

Their first picture!